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I'm afraid I have spread myself too thin. It used to be that teaching kids got me all excited. NOW I feel tired and a tad irritated at just the thought of having to deal with the mixed-age group of youngsters in our church. It used to be that I loved working at the computer. NOW I'm only in front of it because I have an online job and I need to write stuff but I feel relieved when I don't need to turn it on. It used to be that I got all fired up just thinking about and planning what we would do at the next ladies' fellowship. NOW I get anxious contemplating what we're supposed to do on the next meeting. It used to be that I would look up resources for the youth ministry, the music team, or prayer group. NOW, I just feel so very tired when I think that I still have to do all that.
It used to be that I would rush the Sunday newsletter even to the wee hours of the morning and have it printed in time for 9:00 am Sunday worship. NOW, the Sunday Word has been put on hold. I have not thought about it or really planned when to resume preparing it.
It used to be that I would diligently look for what else to work on when my online tasks are done. NOW, I just sleep while waiting for them to give me another task to work on. It used to be that I would say "Hi" to people on my YM list when work was on a lull. NOW, I think twice then back off because I feel tired at the thought of carrying on an online conversation.
It used to be that I looked forward to thinking up new preparations for our daily family meals. NOW, I prepare what cooks in no time. It used to be that I was a really sunny and nice-to-be-with Mom. NOW, I'm simply monster-mama because I get so crabby and grumpy at the slightest provocation.
The list of "It used to be's" and "Now's" could go on and on. I want the world to stop for a while or may be I can go take a vacation for a week doing nothing but sleeping and eating and reflecting on how I am to go on with my life. I have been wanting, longing, desiring, praying to be able to take a much needed break.
I got back from kids camp just before summer officially ended. During that time, one of the staff suggested I do something...I forget now what it was but it sure was ministry-related (or was it work-related?). Anyway, I told the dear sister that if I did that I would have to be scraped off the wall. I am just so tired to do anything. It's like what my husband calls being on "auto-pilot."
Yes, I am probably on auto-pilot because there doesn't seem to be time to take a break yet...however, badly needed it may be.
2 comments:
Hey Mommie!
I just read you comment. Haven't heard from you in a while.
Easy ka lang. God cares about the minister more than the ministry. At least that's what I think.
Who do you think you are? Superwoman?! Hahaha!
I hope you're doing okay now. Take care.
I feel your fatigue just by reading this post. And I understand your predicament.
Hope you're feeling much better now. Good you had a good time with the boys at the Manila Ocean Park.
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